My American Heart - The Days I've Died

hoho...my comp is back...hope it doesnt die on me soon anyways...i'll be bored again...yes...damn bored...


well...im soo fucking sick...having a damn fever but still have to attend that stupid study camp at school...im too lazy to go to the polyclinic to get an m.c...the wait is soo fucking long...haha...well had treasure hunt just now...after dat suppose to play captain's ball...den i used my fever as a reason to sit it out...haha...its so fucking hot and my head was killing me...haha...ok...den slept my whole day off after that...too bad those taking archery have to go back at 4.30 or 5....they have to stand in the hot sun summore to wait for their turn...haha...ok...i wanna go to dat gig on sunday...and because of that i'm left with 10 bucks now...from 30 to 10...how the hell am i going to pay my bills...haha...going wit hawa,zu,saijoe and faris...iza is going..haha..get to see dat crazy girl..haha..my sis suppose to get for us tix but she still ask me to wait...watever uh...as long as i dont need to pay more...im oreadi broke...haha...ok im sick and tired with everything...haha...cant be bothered...what i want now is just do what i want and stop thinking about others...yess...im not even appreaciated for the things i've done...someone showed me that looks matters...even if it is not said but it is showed...


ok dunno uh...cant be bothered...all i know now is im sick...im tired...tired of school...tired of people...hmm...maybe i should start being unsocialable again...haha...ok...whatever....bye...just know dat im back if u ppl care uh...haha

Emery - The Secret

orite ppl...my fucking comp is down again...and once again im bored to death..ok this is gonna be a short entry as mirah ask me to update...haha


ok...exams are over...got back our report books...failed maths and science...as usual...got a fucking performance at school...haha...no comments...told sumone sumthin and suddenly cant accept it and act diff...watever uh...no names mentioned...had our malay o papers just now...fuct up...had malay intensive last week...getting bored of malay...wanna go to that gig this sunday...im broke...im bored...im soo fucted up...and i realised its not my mistake if sumone is frickle minded...maybe just remember them when they're not around...i dont know uh...im sick and tired of life oreadi...fucking exams...fucking broke and fucking bored...give me something better...


ok bye.

Amber Pacific - Thoughts Of Me

ok...this has been a really fuct up day...a really fuct up life....and a really stupid me...and it really cost sumthin...fucking stupid


ever since i started talking to her again i feared losing her again...i got different ideas about what is happening and i always got the wrong ideas...i really really feared losing her again...nver did i thought what i fear was gonna make me lose her...we got into frequent arguments...even most of them was about other ppls matters i thought she was keep sumthing from me...i got pissed for the slightest reasons and also for the wrong reasons...that was what i thought...i didnt want to get the same outcome...i hoped she stopped talking to guys...i controlled her too much...and i didnt even get to talk to her at school...got no phone to contact her and can only talk to her in msn...i wanted to talk to her...asked her out many times but ended up not going out with her...i thought something was going wrong again...then...few days ago got into an argument with her again...and then she said the feelings fade...even if she said she didnt know why it fade...i think i was the cause...i said sorry but i know its useless...i already did sumthing wrong...but i just cared about her so badly...my fuct up mind gave me weird ideas and stuffs....so...talked to her just now...we decided at last to give it a few days...i dont know for what...either for me to move on but still be friends with her or make it be like before...i know that that wont happen...and i guess i just have to stop talking to her also later...i really dont want that to happen but what i did forced me to do this...me caring too much about her made me acted stupidly...never did i thought that i was going to be the cause of this...i really really liked her...she's the only person that i have ever liked so much...even when i stop talking to her i still think its going to take a really long time for me to move on...i cant be just her friend wen i got feelings for her...i cant just do nothing and see things happening...i have to move on if there's nothing for me...i made one really bad mistake and i just hope she would just forgive and forget even though i now she's not that type of person...but i forgived and forgot her mistakes and i hope just for this once she can do the same... and i just hope anybody who gives her the idea that im a fuct up bastard wont change her mind cos wen ppl said she wasnt worth it i didnt tink that way...


im really sorry for my mistake...i really dont want to stop talking to her...i dont want this to end...but for my mistake i have to....i really hope in this few days everything will go back to normal...i know its like hoping for a miracle to happen...but i just hope it will happen...thank myself for being so stupid...ya'll can laugh about how stupid this entry is or emoish...but i really do feel that way...and if u ppl think this is crap get the fuck off...

Emery - The Secret


ok...there's no school today for 5a1...no poa....hoho...soo i slept late yesterday and wake up late today...buttt...im still sleepy...haha...


ok....exams are finally ending...tmro got our science paper 1 and wed got mly list compre...wasting time only come to sch on wed for 1 hour....hoho...i think im gonna do badly in all my papers....all the papers were soo fucking hard...ass....well...saturday my cuz came here...forced him to borrow me his mp3...yeaa...at last he borrowed me...i got an mp3!!!...but its for one month only...haha...at least i can listen to sumtin when im outside for now...yesterday didnt went out...went out today...went to penin to look for guitar stuffs...was suppose to catch a movie but sumone changed the plan last min...errggghh...irritating...haha...so instead went out with pool to penin...then walk around den go home...we just had no plans for anything...so after all that went home....helped mirah out with her problems =p....haha...i am nice rite...haha...


ok...see...this has been a short entry...all bcos mirah wanted to see her name on my entry....haha...ok...so now i write oreadi...oh ya....she is pissing me off lately...ass...and acting like she done nothing wrong or worst dont even know...ass...ok bye

Showbread - "Your Friends Are Fake"

heyheyy...wednesday wednesday...well jus came back from the dentist...my teeth fucking hurts!!....haha...no decay ok


well...had our chemistry paper just now...i didnt even study...i had no mood to study for the past two days because of the fucking pain in my mouth...the pain made me sick...ass...i had to go to school with thick lips as though im some rapper or shit...my friends laughed instantly when they saw my swollen lips...haha..ass..i sat in the exam hall just writing craps on my paper...im sure to fail this exam...yesterday's malay paper was also freaking hard...ass...well...after the chemistry paper went to the art room for awhile..to use the lightbox but in the end i didnt need to use it...after that went to the dentist...had my teeth checked and turns out that i have an infection in my gums....my teeth are clean though...haha...the doc said soo...x-rayed my teeth and there wasnt any holes...got some painkillers and antibiotics and have to eat it till the pain go away...hope it goes away soon though...i want my normal lips back...its like theres sumthin in my mouth but i cant take it out...ho ho....look like jay-z's lips...haha...tmro having art paper...ass...havent finish my final composition for art and still need to study for physics paper...ass...im gonna sleep first of course...then do my art...if i still have time and im still not tired den i'll study physics...haha


hoho...hmm...im still thinking why she doesnt talk in school...but talk to me on msn...wonder why...when i ask her she says she dont know...hmm...dont know uh...think think...ok bye

Halifax - Tuesday's Waiting

ok...today marks the start of the mid year exams....and you know what...i dont even feel like there's any exam...kinda shocking and scary...haha...well i dont know why i dont feel scared about the exams...instead im feeling scared because i dont feel scared about the exams...haha...u get what i mean?...if u get it good...dont get it?...try to get it...ok...gooodd


weeelll...took our prac just now...ok uh but quite hard also...dont know lah...but i know i got the right answer for the question which i guess the answer...haha...i think im gonna fail my prac...ahaha..after the exam just ate at school then go to my aunt's hse to take sumthin then went home..im too tired to study...and i dont know why...tmro is eng paper...havent remember the format yet...can do that later...haha...welll...there's a gig this saturday at paradigm...i wanna go....butttt...i got no money,none of my friends wanna go and its mid year exams....yarhh...i dont know if my sis is going...hope she goes so can give me the details...ahaha....well...im talking to her again...and i hope it wont stop...haha...buutt...i still kinda miss her...cant get to talk to her that much...nver talk to her that much in school just talk to her at night on msn or sometimes fone when my sis allows me to use hers uh...ahaha....i need to pay my bills...well got a disagreement yesterday...she thought i was hiding something...tried to tell her i didnt...she said she believes me...hope she really mean it though cos i am not keeping anything from her...and i wanna be able to talk to her more...somehow i feel like she's ignoring me in school..she cancelled yesterdays plans...said she was lazy...wanna sleep...haha...watt watt....i wanna go out...ahaha...i just wanna talk...3 songs


ok...im just updating for the sake of it...cos i dont wanna see my block backdated with old entries cos im tired of seeing old entries...reminds me about how bored is it when i dont have the internet...haha....ok bye

Caliban - My Little Secret

aww...i miss everythin imn my comp so badly...yeaa...finally out of boredom...get to go online again..woo hoo hoo...can listen to songs...hahahaha

well many things happened since my comp broke down...some things which i cant remember...let me do a summary...other then going to school everyday...i start slacking with restu,hazwan,hawa,saiful,rahu,azfar and the others more right now...fun uh...hmm...examinations coming and still dont have the feeling like its near...hmm...actually getting lazier to go to school these days...well...last week went to the gig at elias cc...superb gig...if u like the songs...haha...some of them didnt like it that much...strayvoice was nice and also a few others but the nicest topping is dear arson...haha...well have to admit i like their songs and the performance...nicee...then an mp also stopped by...dont know who is he uh....hmm...then monday went to watch guess who with hawa and saiful...mdm mariamah was absent for the whole week so i took the chance to absent myself on thursday...then met up with saiful who also absent himself den later met saijoe and faris and talked bout what else rite..you dont know your problem...haha....friday we jammed...nicee...just gonna miss jammin when the exams come...need to take a break..haiz...then saturday...wanted to go to the gig there were a few hardcore bands...but no one wanted to go and also i had to attend speech day thanks to hawa...you still owe me a treat...haha...then after that went home then went out again to changi beach..haha...ok dats what happened

now...just as i thought its time for me to move on it all came back again...found out that i got it all wrong and i didnt ask her about it and just kept myself silent without letting her explain anything...so yesterday she explain everything and still have abit of distrust so we made some agreements..haha...hope for once everything will turn out right...it took me 2 days to finally agree to talk to her again...i wanted her to be totally honest and explain everything...i dont know..just hope everything will be ok...ok..I'M BACK PEOPLE REMEMBER THAT....I'M BACCCKKK!!....ok bye